Why is making friends easier at a small college?
Making friends is easier at a small college because you see the same people every day, so repeated contact turns acquaintances into friends without much effort. Small cohorts, shared spaces and fewer social cliques mean you rarely have to introduce yourself twice.
Large universities can feel anonymous. You might share a lecture hall with hundreds of people and never meet the same person twice. At a small liberal arts university, the opposite happens. Classes are small, discussion-based and often interdisciplinary, so you work with a wide range of people rather than only those in your own degree track.
Several factors make the difference:
- Repeated exposure: Psychologists have long observed that regular, low-pressure contact builds familiarity and trust. A small campus makes this contact automatic.
- Shared experiences: Group projects, presentations and fieldwork give you something to talk about beyond small talk.
- Less social pressure: When everyone knows everyone, there is less pressure to join an exclusive group. Most people stay open to meeting new faces.
- Visible community: You notice who is missing, and others notice you, so people check in on each other.
The trade-off is that you cannot hide in a crowd. That works in your favour: being known means being included.
Where do students actually meet people in a small town?
Students meet people in a small town mainly through classes, student housing, societies and clubs, local cafés and community events. In a compact town, these places overlap, so the person you chat to at a lecture might also be your neighbour or the one organising Friday’s social.
The most reliable meeting points include:
- Your classroom: Small seminars and group assignments are the easiest place to build real connections, because you collaborate rather than just sit side by side.
- Your accommodation: Shared kitchens, corridors and common rooms create daily, unplanned conversations. This is where many of the strongest friendships begin.
- Student-run societies and committees: Whether it is sport, music, debating or organising events, shared goals bond people quickly.
- Town spots: Historic centres in smaller Dutch towns are compact. Markets, cafés, libraries and waterfront walks are all within cycling distance, and you will start recognising regulars within weeks.
- Volunteering and community projects: Helping with local initiatives introduces you to people beyond the student bubble.
Bicycles are the great equaliser in the Netherlands. Joining a group ride, or simply cycling to the same café as a classmate, is a very Dutch way to turn an acquaintance into a friend.
How can international students make friends in their first weeks?
International students make friends fastest by attending every orientation activity, saying yes to invitations in the first two weeks and joining at least one regular group activity. Everyone arrives wanting to connect, so the first weeks are the easiest time to start conversations.
Almost every new student feels nervous at first, which means almost everyone is receptive. Try these practical steps:
- Attend orientation events: Even if you are tired from travelling, these are designed for introductions and require no prior connections.
- Keep your door open: If you live in shared housing, leaving your door ajar or cooking in the common kitchen invites spontaneous chats.
- Ask simple questions: “Where are you from?”, “What are you studying?” and “What made you choose the Netherlands?” work well because everyone has a story.
- Suggest small plans: Coffee after class or a walk into town feels lower-stakes than a big party.
- Join something recurring: A weekly sport, choir or society meeting gives you a reason to see the same people repeatedly.
Do not worry if your first group of friends does not become your lasting one. Many students find their closest friends in the second or third month, once the initial rush settles.
How do you befriend locals and students from other cultures?
You befriend locals and students from other cultures by showing curiosity, learning a few words of the local language, and joining shared activities rather than waiting for introductions. Dutch people tend to be direct and value honesty, so genuine interest and clear communication go a long way.
Understanding Dutch social style
Dutch culture is often described as direct and informal. Plans are made in advance, and diaries fill up, so a spontaneous invitation may feel rare at first. This is not coldness. Once you are invited, the friendship is usually sincere. Be clear about your own preferences and do not be offended by blunt feedback; it is usually meant helpfully.
Building bridges across cultures
With a student body drawn from many countries, your friend group will probably be wonderfully mixed. A few habits help:
- Ask people about their traditions and food, and share your own.
- Avoid assuming that quiet means uninterested. Communication styles differ widely.
- Be patient with language gaps and use simple, clear English.
- Learn basic Dutch phrases. Even a clumsy “dank je wel” often earns a warm smile.
- Take part in local events such as markets, festivals and sports, where you will meet residents naturally.
Studying at a liberal arts university helps here, because interdisciplinary projects regularly put you in teams with people whose backgrounds and ways of thinking differ from yours. That daily practice in collaboration makes cross-cultural friendship feel natural rather than forced.
What if you feel lonely or out of place?
If you feel lonely or out of place, you are not alone, and the feeling is usually temporary. Reach out to someone, join a recurring activity and talk to a student adviser or counsellor. Loneliness is a common part of moving abroad and often eases once routines and friendships form.
Moving to a new country means losing your usual support network, so a dip in mood is completely normal. Some helpful steps:
- Name the feeling: Acknowledging homesickness takes away some of its power.
- Tell someone: A friend, tutor or student adviser can help, and you will often find others feel the same.
- Create small routines: A weekly call home, a regular gym session or a favourite café gives structure to your days.
- Start with one person: You do not need a large group. One good friend changes how a place feels.
- Use support services: Most Dutch universities offer counselling, student psychologists and peer support. Using them is a sign of good self-care, not weakness.
If low mood lasts for weeks or affects your sleep, appetite or studies, please seek professional support. Small communities often notice quickly when someone is struggling, which means help is usually close at hand.
How do you keep friendships going in a small community?
You keep friendships going in a small community by staying consistent, making regular plans, handling disagreements openly and continuing to include new people. Because everyone is closely connected, nurturing friendships with kindness and honesty matters more than in a large city.
Small places reward good habits:
- Schedule regular rituals: A weekly dinner, Sunday walk or study session keeps friendships active even when life gets busy.
- Be reliable: Turning up when you say you will builds trust quickly.
- Resolve conflict early: You will keep seeing each other, so address misunderstandings directly and kindly rather than letting them linger.
- Avoid gossip: In a tight community, words travel fast. Being discreet earns respect.
- Stay open: Keep inviting new people into your circle so the community stays welcoming rather than closed.
If you go on exchange or travel during your studies, keep in touch through messages and calls. Friendships formed in a close community often last long after graduation, especially when people share formative experiences.
Explore your study options at University College Roosevelt
If making friends in a close, international community appeals to you, University College Roosevelt (UCR) is worth a closer look. UCR is a small honours college in the historic centre of Middelburg, where around 500 students from over 70 nationalities live and learn together. It is a selective programme with defined admission requirements, so it is wise to check the criteria early.
Here is how UCR connects to the points covered above:
- Guaranteed student housing: Living on campus means daily contact with classmates, which makes friendships form naturally.
- Small-scale, personalised education: A flexible liberal arts and sciences curriculum, with small classes and interdisciplinary projects, puts you in regular contact with diverse peers.
- International community and exchange options: As an international honours college of Utrecht University, UCR offers exchange opportunities, including partners in the USA and Canada.
You can read more about UCR’s liberal arts education to see how the curriculum works. Ready to take the next step? Connect with University College Roosevelt to ask questions, learn about the application process and see whether life in Middelburg is right for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
I'm introverted and find big social events draining. How can I still make friends at a small university?
You don’t need to attend every party to build friendships. Focus on smaller, recurring settings where conversation happens naturally, such as a study group, a weekly society meeting, a shared meal in your housing kitchen or a one-on-one coffee after class. Because a small campus keeps putting you in contact with the same people, a few low-key interactions each week can add up to real friendships over time.
What should I do if I haven't found my group by the end of the first month?
That is completely normal, and many students find their closest friends in the second or third month once the initial rush of orientation settles. Keep showing up to one or two recurring activities, say yes to small invitations, and try suggesting a simple plan yourself, like a walk or a coffee. If you still feel isolated, a student adviser or peer support service can point you towards groups you may not know about.
How do I get started if I don't know what societies or clubs are available?
Begin with the orientation week activities and any society fairs, where clubs usually recruit new members and offer free taster sessions. You can also ask classmates, housemates or your student adviser what they recommend, and check the university’s website or social media channels for societies and committees. Try two or three different groups in your first weeks, then commit to the one or two where you feel most comfortable.
How can I handle a conflict with a housemate or friend without damaging the friendship?
Address the issue early and in person, rather than letting resentment build or venting to mutual friends. Choose a calm moment, describe how the situation affects you using ‘I’ statements, and listen to their side. Dutch directness can actually help here, as clear and honest communication is usually appreciated. If the problem continues, a housing coordinator or student adviser can help mediate.
Do I need to speak Dutch to make local friends?
No, most Dutch people speak excellent English, and in an international university you can get by comfortably without Dutch. Still, learning a few phrases like ‘goedemorgen’ or ‘dank je wel’ shows effort and often opens doors. Joining local activities such as sports clubs, volunteering or markets will give you more chances to practise and meet residents.
How can I stay close to friends when someone goes on exchange or after graduation?
Set up a simple routine that doesn’t depend on being in the same place, such as a monthly video call, a shared group chat or a recurring online game or movie night. Share small everyday updates rather than waiting for big news, and plan visits when possible. Friendships formed through shared experiences in a close community tend to last well beyond graduation if both sides make a little regular effort.
What are common mistakes students make when trying to build friendships abroad?
The most common mistakes are waiting to be invited rather than taking the first step, only socialising with people from their own country, and withdrawing after one awkward interaction. Another is misreading cultural differences, such as taking Dutch directness or planned diaries as a sign of disinterest. Stay curious, keep a mix of friends, and give relationships time to develop before judging them.
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